jarrodwhaley.com

I make films. I'm also a nerd.

Archive for 2012:

iCloud Sucks at Email

iCloud sucks at mail

I see this fifty times a day. Do you?

Hell Alarm of the Damned, From Hell, In the Morning

It’s not a fair world, I know, but there are really just some things that ought only to happen after you’ve had your coffee.

I woke up before Ginger did this morning, and decided I’d make a simple breakfast of coffee and oatmeal. Sleepyheaded and still-uncaffeinated, I set about the task of heating up some milk for the oats. Just after the pot hit the stovetop, our cat meowed for attention, and I looked away from the stove for no more than twenty seconds. The milk boiled over a little, and I turned in horror to deal with it. And then, as I was trying to contain the mess, a deafening shriek pierced my cranium–it sounded as if a five-mile-high bitchdemon had decided to shatter the Earth with 15kHz sonic waves. No, it was merely the fire alarm, which is apparently capable of producing a sound loud enough to be perceived by volunteer firemen 3,000 miles away in Nova Scotia.

Once I had scooped my brains off the floor and crammed them back into my skull via a bleeding, gaping ear canal, I began looking for the origin of the sound–for some way to silence it. I pulled a smoke detector from the ceiling (with no results) and fell from a stepladder, cutting my back on a hat rack as I plummeted. Somehow Ginger heard the phone ringing underneath the shrill cacophony. I answered it.

WHAT!!!?

(It was the alarm company.)

WHAT!!!?

“…” (I couldn’t hear her at all, naturally.)

WHAT!!!?

“…”

I BURNED THREE DROPS OF MILK AND NOW THE WORLD IS ENDING, HOLY FUCK, SAVE US!!!

We hung up, nothing resolved. Finally I succeeded in punching a code into the alarm panel and silencing the damned thing. And then the fire truck arrived. Yeah. And I hadn’t even had my coffee yet.

Kite at sunset, Ocean Beach, San Francisco.

beach_kite.m4v
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Reverse Nostalgia

<p>Do you remember when you'd want to burn a DVD and listen to music simultaneously, and would have to kill the music so your system would have enough RAM and CPU cycles to burn the disc? That doesn't happen anymore, and it's not just because our computers are faster and/or more well-endowed. You can burn a DVD from an "old" netbook and play the music from your iPhone.</p>

Now we farm out our tasks to multiple CPU’s. And all on the same desktop. Just wait until we all run multiple CPU’s in the cloud, across multiple clients.

I am a nerd.

Judy Verona Joseph Interviews me for ON THE TOWN.

Here’s the full video of an interview of me conducted by Judy Verona Joseph of the San Jose TV show On The Town. In it we discuss the world premiere of my film THE GLASS SLIPPER at the 21st Cinequest Film Festival in early 2011. The video is presented here with the permission of the producer.

The Glass Slipper is available here.

Is it a joke? It had better be a joke.

P31

Good news, QWERTY fans!

The price of the Droid 3 has been dropped to $99 in anticipation of the Droid 4! In related news, the Droid 5 will be released on February 9. The Droid 6 will be released on February 10. The Droids 7, 8, 9, 10, and 11 will be released, progressively throughout the day, on February 11.

On Sheer, Utter Garbage

Facebook’s iOS app is perhaps the greatest sin ever committed unto mankind. It’s quite certainly the shittiest, slowest, shittiest software ever written. It makes me want to throw Zuckerberg’s dog into the sea. And I love dogs.

Wheeeeee!