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Marijuana Farms Threaten All Life On Earth

Felicity Barringer for The New York Times:

[L]ike industrial logging before it, the booming business of marijuana is a threat to forests whose looming dark redwoods preside over vibrant ecosystems.

See, marijuana farming is really, really bad for the environment, you dirty hippie scum. It’s way worse than other forms of large-scale farming, which never, ever make use of pesticides, or of fertilizers which cause algal blooms that choke out entire ecosystems. No, marijuana is just plain intrinsically bad, and we’re not just saying that because it makes you illegally happy. No, sir.