jarrodwhaley.com

I make films. I'm also a nerd.

Posts in personal:

Hot Sauce Review: Who Dares Burns, The 2nd Assault

I got an opportunity to try a potent hot sauce last night, and it knocked me on my ass. Who Dares Burns! The 2nd Assault! is possibly the hottest substance I’ve ever encountered. Let me put that remark into context by saying that I’m no wimp when it comes to spicy food; I’ve been known to munch fresh habanero peppers the way other people eat popcorn. Go give that a try while considering the fact that this sauce nailed me to the wall, and you’ll begin to get some vague idea as to how hot the stuff really is. The label specifies that one drop is enough to substantially heat up a pot of chili. It informs us that this sauce is to be used only in recipes; it is not meant to be consumed on its own. It must be diluted. You get the idea.

more »

Phone Booths Are Relics

20130626-224510.jpg

This phone booth, outside a National Park I recently visited, was as big a photo opportunity for the tourists as the Park itself was. One Australian girl cried, “Oh, look! A Phone Booth!”

The City, From the Highway

San Francisco

I’ve always really liked this view of San Francisco, seen from the Northbound lanes of the 101. There’s something dramatic in the way the city reveals itself as you come around that curve.

When Cats And Notebooks Collide

cat scream

I’m thinking she doesn’t want me to work.

Photo: Ginger Carden.

Rémy Brick-Head in Sour Sweetjuice

This is a short film I made in 2004; it inspired my webcomic, which has as of today run 100 times.

Cream Soup (an animated film)

This is an animated short I made in 2007. I hope you like fart jokes. Enjoy.

Poster, Three Documentaries

20130202-031643.jpg
A poster for a screening of three of my short films in Chattanooga, TN–from 2008.

Rémy Brick-Head

Introducing my new web comic, Rémy Brick-Head, based on a character I created years ago. Once upon a time, I made an animated short based around him. Now I think it makes sense to turn it into a (hopefully) regularly-updated comic strip. After all, the original genesis of the character took the form of a comic.

Repairing an Old Alarm Clock

20120321-124429.jpg

Because even I like the occasional analog gadget.

Hell Alarm of the Damned, From Hell, In the Morning

It’s not a fair world, I know, but there are really just some things that ought only to happen after you’ve had your coffee.

I woke up before Ginger did this morning, and decided I’d make a simple breakfast of coffee and oatmeal. Sleepyheaded and still-uncaffeinated, I set about the task of heating up some milk for the oats. Just after the pot hit the stovetop, our cat meowed for attention, and I looked away from the stove for no more than twenty seconds. The milk boiled over a little, and I turned in horror to deal with it. And then, as I was trying to contain the mess, a deafening shriek pierced my cranium–it sounded as if a five-mile-high bitchdemon had decided to shatter the Earth with 15kHz sonic waves. No, it was merely the fire alarm, which is apparently capable of producing a sound loud enough to be perceived by volunteer firemen 3,000 miles away in Nova Scotia.

Once I had scooped my brains off the floor and crammed them back into my skull via a bleeding, gaping ear canal, I began looking for the origin of the sound–for some way to silence it. I pulled a smoke detector from the ceiling (with no results) and fell from a stepladder, cutting my back on a hat rack as I plummeted. Somehow Ginger heard the phone ringing underneath the shrill cacophony. I answered it.

WHAT!!!?

(It was the alarm company.)

WHAT!!!?

“…” (I couldn’t hear her at all, naturally.)

WHAT!!!?

“…”

I BURNED THREE DROPS OF MILK AND NOW THE WORLD IS ENDING, HOLY FUCK, SAVE US!!!

We hung up, nothing resolved. Finally I succeeded in punching a code into the alarm panel and silencing the damned thing. And then the fire truck arrived. Yeah. And I hadn’t even had my coffee yet.