Edward Mendelson of the The New York Review of Books seems to have decided to announce his nanoencephalitic idiocy–or is it his boundless cynicism?–to the world thusly:
[A]s everyone knows, the world-religion of the educated and prosperous in the twenty-first century is Apple, with its Vatican in Cupertino and its cathedrals in the light-filled Apple Stores that draw pilgrims gripping iPhones and iPads like rosaries. Apple’s flock is secured against heresy by censors who rule the online App Store; only applications with Apple’s imprimatur are allowed on an iPhone. Programmers risk excommunication—with all their works condemned to being listed in an Index of Prohibited Software—if they violate canon law by bypassing Apple’s banking system or ignoring its infallible doctrine. Rebellious heretics can “jailbreak” an iPhone and induce it to accept software anathematized by Apple, but a heretic’s phone is refused communion when presented for repair at the Apple Store.
I wonder: has any religion ever been defined as such only by its opponents? And: has anyone ever been hungrier for pageviews than Edward Mendelson’s shockingly soulless and potentially mentally-challenged editor?