The patents outline an entirely new way of controlling Glass (or any other wearable computing device); one that tracks a user’s hand gestures in an attempt to understand what’s important or significant. One example cited puts a physical spin on the ubiquitous “like” action used across social media. Google’s patent shows a user framing real-world objects with a heart-shaped hand gesture. Using its built-in camera, the wearable device would then analyze the framed content and intelligently “like” the highlighted object or location.
Great. I can’t wait until the world is overrun with idiotic douchnozzles pointing their thumbs at everything. Kill me.
There’s a great piece by Gary Shteyngart on the novelty of Google Glass in The New Yorker:
The man with the glasses is lying on the couch at his psychoanalyst’s office. The pink rectangle floats before his eye. The man begins complaining about his glasses. In the first week, he’s supposed to wear them only one hour a day, but he can’t help himself. He’s been wearing them non-stop and now it feels like his right eye is bulging out, and also he feels nauseous and has a throbbing headache somewhere to the right of the bridge of his nose.
There’s the first commercial for Google Glass, right there. And at the end, his eyeball pops out through sheer strain, and it rolls along the floor, up to the camera. As it comes to rest, the Google Glass logo appears. Someone steps on the eyeball. Splat.
I have to admit that my initial reaction upon seeing a pair was indeed one of childlike wonder. As in, “I wonder what will happen if I kick this guy in the nuts?”
The answer to that childlike question: there would be a POV video of your foot striking his oysters. That video would be on Google+. No human being would ever see that video. But lots of Google’s servers would see that video, and would run ads for athletic cups directly on the retinas of douchebags wearing Google Glass.
And the cycle repeats.
Until a Douchebag Singularity results in a giant, swirling black hole in which douche is infinitely dense.