jarrodwhaley.com

I make films. I'm also a nerd.

Posts Tagged ‘stupid’:

Let’s Make One The Size Of A Door

Dan Seifert of The Verge:

Samsung announced today that the Galaxy Mega 6.3, the company's biggest “phone” device to date, will be available in the US this month. The Mega 6.3 has a 6.3-inch, 720p display; 1.7GHz dual-core processor; 8-megapixel camera; and Android 4.2.2 Jelly Bean with Samsung's user interface.

You know an Android “phone” is absolutely, positively, stupid-o-riffically too damn big when even The Verge puts scare quotes around “phone.”

Facebook Considers Another Pointless Venture

Jeff Blagdon writing for The Verge (he’s actually just quoting from a Wall Street Journal story to which I won’t link because it’s behind a moronic paywall):

The WSJ reports that the project has been in development for over a year, meaning it was already in motion before Google announced its plans to shutter its Google Reader news aggregation app in March. The app is reportedly designed for mobile devices, with no mention made of a web app.

The internal name for the project is Reader […] [emphasis mine]

Facebook is stretching itself too thin. I really think they need to focus on what they already do: mine gigaterrapetamegabytes of useless, quotidian data from teenagers and old people, and then show them ads for brick-and-mortar retail stores on the other side of the planet. Get really great at that, first.

HBO Hates Money

Boy Genius Report:

Jeff Bewkes, CEO of HBO’s par­ent com­pa­ny Time Warn­er, said on Wednes­day that the com­pa­ny has no plans to offer HBO GO with­out a cable sub­scrip­tion.

OK, then I have no plans to give you any money.

Google Glass And The Pinnacle of Ass

Here’s Jesus Christ, Silicon Valley on Google Glass:

I have to admit that my initial reaction upon seeing a pair was indeed one of childlike wonder. As in, “I wonder what will happen if I kick this guy in the nuts?”

The answer to that childlike question: there would be a POV video of your foot striking his oysters. That video would be on Google+. No human being would ever see that video. But lots of Google’s servers would see that video, and would run ads for athletic cups directly on the retinas of douchebags wearing Google Glass.

And the cycle repeats.

And repeats.

And repeats.

Until a Douchebag Singularity results in a giant, swirling black hole in which douche is infinitely dense.

Media Executives Are Morons

So “content creators” have their panties all in a wad over Aereo, a service which allows subscribers in New York City to watch live television over the internet. They are dumb, stupid idiots:

Broadcasters also claim that Aereo threatens their license agreements with services like Hulu and would effectively kill advertising revenue — networks say there’s no viable way of tracking online viewership.

Great point, dumbasses. It’s a computer. It can track viewership. A television cannot. So, that was a really effing stupid thing to say, you jackass.

I like Chris Welch’s rebuttal:

These arguments seem rather hard to justify when you consider Aereo is extending the distribution of what’s already offered for free.

Yes, exactly. What are they supposed to be losing, anyway? I’m sick to fucking death of these media companies keeping us in 1957. It’s 2012.

Stop It, RIM, You’re Embarrassing Everyone

Just look at this garbage. I’ll bet you close the window the second the talking begins.

This is all the proof you need–outside of using one of their devices–in order to understand just how quickly RIM and Blackberry are swirling down the shitter.

Project Ass

Let me just come out and say it: some gadgets are stupid. I’ve been wrong about gadgets before–very, very wrong in some cases–but I just can’t see myself wearing these stupid Google HUD glasses. Do I really want Google to be able to show me Charmin ads while I’m in the bathroom?

Robot Dances to Banjo Girl

Robot-Banjo.mp4
Watch on Posterous

(Video: Ginger Carden)